From time to time in the Burns household we take an entire month to tighten our fiscal belt. This year we declared March to be our “no money” month. Along with attempting to reduce reoccurring expenses (phone bills, cable bills, etc), we also attempt to live more simply. That means putting back impulse buys at the grocery store, not eating out for any meals, and generally not buying things that aren’t a “need” (which is just about everything).

The process as a whole is beneficial. For one, we end up saving money. The other benefit is the exposure of where my heart finds joy.

In doing this, I often find out how much I really love stuff… and buying stuff.  During pervious “no money” months I have actually felt physically agitated at not being able to simply “go grab a _____ at the _____.” The agitation is good. It is a helpful reminder of how addicted I have become to getting what I want, whenever I want it. I am reminded that my true joy will never be in the accumulation of things, but that my life often looks that way. It is a humble reminder.

As I said, there is also a financial benefit from this discipline. Besides the money we save from simply not buying “extra” stuff, we also take the month to reduce as many bills as possible. This March was, I believe, the most successful we’ve been at this. Check out this breakdown:

• Car Insurance: Was $250 per 6 months; Renegotiated to $162 per 6 months. Yearly Savings = $176 
• Cable: Was $140 per month (Cable + Internet); Cut cable & switched internet provider for $45 per month. Yearly Savings = $1140
• Health Insurance: Was $470 per month; Changed provider (and got better coverage!) $363 per month. Yearly Savings = $1284
• Cell Phone: Was $84 per month; Switching to Republic Wireless at $30 a month. Yearly Savings = $648

TOTAL YEARLY SAVINGS = $3,248

Bike to Work: I didn’t include this in the numbers above because there are a lot of moving variables. A rough estimate is that I can save (with gas at $3.40 +/-) at least $5 every day I ride to work. If I bike just 2 days a week, the savings over a year would be $520. But I notice that when I drive to work I’m much more inclined to go out for lunch (call it $10) or run an extra errand (more gas + whatever I buy). Then, if you want to figure in “wear and tear” on the truck… Like I said, lots of variables. All things considered, I feel very comfortable saying that 1 day of bike commuting saves me an average of $8-10. My target is to bike at least 3 days a week, knowing some weeks I’ll do more and some weeks I’ll do less. So, let’s call the yearly average at 3 times per week. The estimated yearly savings would be: $1248-$1560

TOTAL YEARLY SAVINGS = $4,256 – $4,568

So, there you have it. You ready for your turn? Pick a month and go for it:

• Just the Basics January
• Financial Freedom February
• No Money March
• ___ April (Anyone got a name for this one?)
• Mo Money May
• Just the Basics June
• Why Buy July
• ____ August (Little name help?)
• Super Saving September
• ____ October (Yeah, how about this one?)
• Not Necessary November
• Debt Free December

Some of my thoughts first, then some my preaching second…

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. The history of mankind will probably show that no people has ever risen above its religion, and man’s spiritual history will positively demonstrate that no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God. Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God.

For this reason the gravest question before the Church is always God Himself, and the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like. We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God. This is true not only of the individual Christian, but of the company of Christians that composes the Church. Always the most revealing thing about the Church is her idea of God.”

–A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (New York: HarperCollins, 1961), 1.

This quote of Tozer’s is one of the sea of reasons that I am always so hesitant to preach. The reality is that many of the people who will listen to what comes out of my mouth will simply believe it because “the pastor said it was so”. The words I speak will inform and shape a persons understanding of who God is. This is a humbling and sacred place to tread. It is for this reason that the Bible actually says in James 3:1 “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”

The Apostle Paul reiterates the importace of our words in preaching, reminding us that presenting wrong truths about God can lead people to vain(empty) faith and we, the preacher, can be found to be misrepresenting God.  1 Corinthians 15:13-15 “But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised.” (emphasis mine) Paul reminds us that we are telling people about God and that if we speak wrongly, there are dire consequences.

The flip side of this coin is in Romans 10:14, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” So, someone has to preach. This is the point where I usually just respond in faith, with the skills and talents I’ve been given, and preach as faithfully as I can to how God has revealed himself in the Bible.

100% of the time it is painfully difficult for me.

The funny part of the whole thing usually happens after the preaching is over, when I get questions like, “How’d it go?” and “Did you enjoy it?”. While I certainly appreciate and understand the questions, I always fumble over answer the question (as you’ve experienced if you’ve ever asked me). The problem is that preaching isn’t a public speaking gig. It is this weird place of the human and the divine. I can speak with the greatest of eloquence, be funny and engaging, and it all be for naught if I misrepresent God or simply leave people with an entertaining speech.

The gauge of success is something entirely “other.” Were people’s vision of God enlarged? Were their hearts set aflame with passion for the work of Jesus? Was God made known in a true and faithful manner? And so many other questions that provide very few clear answers for  ”How’d it go?” and “Did you enjoy it?”.

I’ve always thought that John Piper said it best when he said, “…the true usefulness of our preaching will not be known to us until all the fruit on all the branches on all the trees that have sprung up from all the seeds we’ve ever sown has fully ripened in the sunshine of eternity.” (John Piper, The Supremacy of God in Preaching, p 22.) This is the reason it is so hard to answer “How’d it go?”.

While not the exhaustive thoughts, or maybe even coherent, about preaching, I thought I’d throw them out there for those wondering about such things.

For those interested, here are some recent sermons I had the opportunity to preach at Redemption Hill Church.

•  Abraham and the Greatness of God preached from Genesis 12:10-22:24
•  Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph preached from Genesis 23-50
•  Giving - preached from Matthew 6:1-4
•  Praying - preached from Matthew 6:5-15
•  Fasting preached from Matthew 6:16-18

 

My kids thought I should be aware of a law they discovered in school today. Apparently in the Corpus Juris Civilis, also known as the Code of Justinian, it was against the law to preach in such a way that your audience couldn’t hear you. I was particularly struck by the last paragraph of the law (in bold below). In case the threat of divine judgement wasn’t enough, the state wanted to make sure you knew that they would not leave you unpunished.

While I do find a bit of humor in the fact that the state created such a law, I also find some great wisdom.

Anyway, for all you preachers out there, don’t break the law…

CHAPTER VI.

In addition to this, We order all bishops and priests to repeat the divine service and the prayer, when baptism is performed, not in an undertone, but in a loud voice which can be heard by the faithful people, in such a way that the minds of the listeners may be induced to manifest greater devotion, and a higher appreciation of the praises and blessings of God. For as the Divine Apostle states in his First Epistle to the Corinthians: “But if you solely bless in spirit, how, after your act of grace, can the layman, who does not hear what you say, pronounce the holy word Amen; for if, while you are offering thanks to God, he does not understand, he will not be edified.” Again, in his Epistle to the Romans, he says: “Even though one may sincerely trust in the justice of God, confessions should be made with the mouth in order that salvation may be obtained.”

Therefore, it is proper that the prayers made during divine service, and the other supplications addressed to Our Lord Jesus Christ, God Our Father, and the Holy Spirit, should be uttered in a loud tone, by the most holy priests and bishops; and We notify all ecclesiastics that if they should violate any of these provisions, they must render an account of their conduct on the terrible Judgment Day of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; and that We, when informed of these matters, shall not disregard them, and leave them unpunished.

Chris DeRoco, a pastor at Redemption Hill, in his sermon on 1 John 4:7-12 made reference to a story about the Apostle John in which the Apostle runs after a wayward disciple. In an online forum, a friend asked where the reference was from. I couldn’t find it in google books, so I’ve copied the excerpt from my Logos library and posted it here for him (and anyone else interested).

It is such an inspiring story of discipleship, redemption, and the grace of God. I hope you are encouraged as you read.

Narrative concerning John the Apostle (Eusebius, Church History III, XXIII, 1-19.)

1 AT that time the apostle and evangelist John, the one whom Jesus loved, was still living in Asia, and governing the churches of that region, having returned after the death of Domitian from his exile on the island.
2 And that he was still alive at that time may be established by the testimony of two witnesses. They should be trustworthy who have maintained the orthodoxy of the Church; and such indeed were Irenæus and Clement of Alexandria.
3 The former in the second book of his work Against Heresies, writes as follows: “And all the elders that associated with John the disciple of the Lord in Asia bear witness that John delivered it to them. For he remained among them until the time of Trajan.”
4 And in the third book of the same work he attests the same thing in the following words: “But the church in Ephesus also, which was founded by Paul, and where John remained until the time of Trajan, is a faithful witness of the apostolic tradition.”
5 Clement likewise in his book entitled What Rich Man can be saved? indicates the time, and subjoins a narrative which is most attractive to those that enjoy hearing what is beautiful and profitable. Take and read the account which runs as follows:
6 “Listen to a tale, which is not a mere tale, but a narrative concerning John the apostle, which has been handed down and treasured up in memory. For when, after the tyrant’s death, he returned from the isle of Patmos to Ephesus, he went away upon their invitation to the neighboring territories of the Gentiles, to appoint bishops in some places, in other places to set in order whole churches, elsewhere to choose to the ministry some one of those that were pointed out by the Spirit.
7 When he had come to one of the cities not far away (the name of which is given by some), and had consoled the brethren in other matters, he finally turned to the bishop that had been appointed, and seeing a youth of powerful physique, of pleasing appearance, and of ardent temperament, he said, ‘This one I commit to thee in all earnestness in the presence of the Church and with Christ as witness.’ And when the bishop had accepted the charge and had promised all, he repeated the same injunction with an appeal to the same witnesses, and then departed for Ephesus.
8 But the presbyter, taking home the youth committed to him, reared, kept, cherished, and finally baptized him. After this he relaxed his stricter care and watchfulness, with the idea that in putting upon him the seal of the Lord he had given him a perfect protection.
9 But some youths of his own age, idle and dissolute, and accustomed to evil practices, corrupted him when he was thus prematurely freed from restraint. At first they enticed him by costly entertainments; then, when they went forth at night for robbery, they took him with them, and finally they demanded that he should unite with them in some greater crime.
10 He gradually became accustomed to such practices, and on account of the positiveness of his character, leaving the right path, and taking the bit in his teeth like a hard-mouthed and powerful horse, he rushed the more violently down into the depths.
11 And finally despairing of salvation in God, he no longer meditated what was insignificant, but having committed some great crime, since he was now lost once for all, he expected to suffer a like fate with the rest. Taking them, therefore, and forming a band of robbers, he became a bold bandit-chief, the most violent, most bloody, most cruel of them all.
12 Time passed, and some necessity having arisen, they sent for John. But he, when he had set in order the other matters on account of which he had come, said, ‘Come, O bishop, restore us the deposit which both I and Christ committed to thee, the church, over which thou presidest, being witness.’
13 But the bishop was at first confounded, thinking that he was falsely charged in regard to money which he had not received, and he could neither believe the accusation respecting what he had not, nor could he disbelieve John. But when he said, ‘I demand the young man and the soul of the brother,’ the old man, groaning deeply and at the same time bursting into tears, said, ‘He is dead.’ ‘How and what kind of death?’ ‘He is dead to God,’ he said; ‘for he turned wicked and abandoned, and at last a robber. And now, instead of the church, he haunts the mountain with a band like himself.’
14 But the apostle rent his clothes, and beating his head with great lamentation, he said, ‘A fine guard I left for a brother’s soul! But let a horse be brought me, and let some one show me the way.’ He rode away from the church just as he was, and coming to the place, he was taken prisoner by the robbers’ outpost.
15 He, however, neither fled nor made entreaty, but cried out, ‘For this did I come; lead me to your captain.’
16 The latter, meanwhile, was waiting, armed as he was. But when he recognized John approaching, he turned in shame to flee.
17 But John, forgetting his age, pursued him with all his might, crying out, ‘Why, my son, dost thou flee from me, thine own father, unarmed, aged? Pity me, my son; fear not; thou hast still hope of life. I will give account to Christ for thee. If need be, I will willingly endure thy death as the Lord suffered death for us. For thee will I give up my life. Stand, believe; Christ hath sent me.’
18 And he, when he heard, first stopped and looked down; then he threw away his arms, and then trembled and wept bitterly. And when the old man approached, he embraced him, making confession with lamentations as he was able, baptizing himself a second time with tears, and concealing only his right hand.
19 But John, pledging himself, and assuring him on oath that he would find forgiveness with the Saviour, besought him, fell upon his knees, kissed his right hand itself as if now purified by repentance, and led him back to the church. And making intercession for him with copious prayers, and struggling together with him in continual fastings, and subduing his mind by various utterances, he did not depart, as they say, until he had restored him to the church, furnishing a great example of true repentance and a great proof of regeneration, a trophy of a visible resurrection.”

A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of the Christian Church, Second Series, Volume I: Eusebius: Church History, Life of Constantine the Great, and Oration in Praise of Constantine, ed. Philip Schaff and Henry Wace (New York: Christian Literature Company, 1890), 150-52.

The term “Good Friday” seems like such a paradox. Whether you’re a Christian or not, the brutal torture and execution of a man on a Roman cross is far from anyone’s definition of a “good” Friday. At best, we might be able to come to the conclusion that such an end to a man may be good if, indeed, the man was on the level of a Hitler or something. But, by most accounts, Jesus was actually a pretty nice guy. Many people liked him and wanted him to come to their parties. People came by the thousands to listen to him speak. Wherever he went, he drew a crowd. He wasn’t exactly the picture of a villainous criminal worthy of crucifixion.

Alas, whatever the opinion of people at the time, Jesus did hang on a cross. He died with his flesh torn from scourging and his head donned with a crown of thorns.

So, herein lies the question on this good friday, “why did Jesus die?”

Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written to answer that question (Here’s one I recommend which you can download for free) and I won’t attempt in this brief post to expound on my own answers. What I want to do is share with you a few of the verses in the Bible that answer that question. Let us see and savor the good news of the cross and rejoice in the glory of the resurrection. For Jesus’ death is not vain or futile. It serves to bring us to God, but I’ll let the scriptures fill that in for you.

Here we go:

1 Corinthians 15:3 - For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures,

Galatians 3:13 - Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written,“Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”

Romans 3:25 - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,  whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.  It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

1 John 4:10 - In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Romans 5:7-9 - For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Ephesians 1:7a – In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses

Colossians 2:13 – And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

Mark 10:45 - For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Matthew 26:28 - this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

2 Corinthians 5:20 - For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Hebrews 10:14 - For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

Colossians 1:22 -  he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,

The list could go on from here, but I hope you get the gist. Jesus’ death was not empty. It was victorious. It is his death the brings us to God. I’ll leave you with one final piece of scripture on this Good Friday. Probably the best text in scripture to shed light on Jesus death. As you read and meditate on all these texts, I pray that you would see the good news for you and me in his death:

Isaiah 52:13-53:12 -

I had a WordPress site hacked today, and was able to get it fixed and live in less than 5 minutes. Really, it was nothing short of amazing!

The reality is that I’ve had numerous WordPress sites hacked over the years. I do the best I can to follow the majority of “best practices” for keeping a WordPress site hacker proof, but it always seems to happen eventually. In the past, I’d either kill the site entirely (if it wasn’t important) or I’d spend HOURS upon painful HOURS tracking down the wretched code and bringing the site back to life. Sadly, today, my Best Seminary website ran into some ugly hacker code and I was simply fed up. I didn’t want to deal with it and I was willing to pay to have it fixed. So, I went to Sucuri.

I will say, without hesitation, they are worth EVERY PENNY you pay. If you have a WordPress site that has been hacked, they’ll fix it… QUICK.

This is how it went down:

• At 8:12 I opened an account with Sucuri
• At 8:14 I opened a support ticket with a description of my hacker problem, including an FTP login for them to access my files.
• At 8:16 I received an email stating that all the malware code had been removed and the site was good as new.

Seriously! 4 MINUTES!

Not only that, but Sucuri is a yearly service, so if anything like this ever happens again, they’ll take care of it for me.

If you ever have a WordPress site that gets hacked with malware or any crap like that, save yourself those precious and painful hours. Drop the coin and get Sucuri. You’ll be happy you did!

On November 9th, 2011, I donated a kidney to a friend. As the days following the surgery progress, I found myself forgetting some of the details of my experience and decided to record them here both as a reminder to myself and, hopefully, as a resource to anyone who is considering being a living kidney donor. I have written elsewhere about my decision to donate a kidney, and even shot some videos with the my pastor at my church in Richmond. This post will deal with the few days leading up to the donation and a few weeks after. It is long and I probably left a lot out. But, I hope it is helpful.

Pre-Op Meetings

The Monday before my surgery I went in to the hospital for some final blood work and to meet with the transplant team. By this point, being poked, prodded, and peeing in things is second nature, so much of it was just more-of-the-same.

Driving into the appointment I remembered that my wife and I had not finished reading and filling out the medical directive and power of attorney paper work. So, on our way in she read aloud all the fun medical paperwork that boils down to “if everything goes wrong, what do you want us to do?” Thankfully my wife and I were already on the same page with this stuff, so we chatted about it, made a joke or two to lighten the mood, and then signed the docs when we go to the hospital.

At the hospital I started with blood work and the I met with my nurse who covered a lot of the logistical details of the surgery day. There wasn’t much new information, but it was a great opportunity to confirm we understood each step of the surgery day and how it would unfold. I had my wife with me for this and if you’re a potential donor, I highly recommend that you bring whoever will be your main help on the day of the surgery. Also, bring a list of all your final questions. We brought a list of questions, many just logistical, and it was a big help.

In the meeting with my surgeon I was reminded of the severity of the endeavor I was undertaking. I’ll note that I always found it reassuring and helpful that my surgeon consistently reminded me that I didn’t need this surgery and that, unlike the recipient, this surgery was ultimately harming me. He, as a surgeon, took this very seriously. I didn’t “need” to have this done. The gravity with which he communicated was greatly appreciated. The last thing I wanted to hear from my surgeon was “Relax, this is a piece of cake. No big deal.”

After meeting with my nurse and surgeon we met with a nurse from anesthesia. Sadly, their department was having computer issues and we had to wait for over an hour to be seen. Once in, the nurse was obviously rushed and frazzled by the technological glitch and resulting backlog of upset patients. Despite this, she walked us through the process, listened to our concerns (like the fact that anesthesia made me really nauseous last time I had it), and answered our questions.

Following this we headed over to the pharmacy to pick up the special soap for washing the night before the surgery and… wait for it… the “bowel prep” drink.

The Countdown Clock

Despite the fact that the recipient was allowed to eat the day before the surgery, I was told to fast the entire 24 hours before the surgery. It was a “clear liquid” diet only. Thankfully, coffee is considered a clear liquid.

About half way through the day I was instructed to drink my “bowel prep” medication. I’ll be honest, I was terrified of what this might do to me. Visions of sprinting to the bathroom and making it “just in time”… or not, had me all kinds of nervous. Top it off with the the nurse warning me how horrible this 16oz drink was going to taste, and I was not looking forward to it.

Thankfully the drink just tasted like a fizzy sweet-tart and the impact it had on me was no where near what I had feared. While it surely did the job of cleaning me out, it was far less dramatic than I imagined.

As the day wound down and I prepared for bed, I followed the nurses instructions and washed with some magical soap that was supposed to kill anything living on my. After that, it was off to bed.

Rise and Shine

I guess I should say that leading up to the surgery, I had never been the least bit nervous. When I woke up on surgery day, it was no different. Perhaps there was a little excitement, but mostly it was a “normal” morning. Of course, I was on a no liquid and no food diet that morning, so by this point I was a little week, but nothing too bad.

My wife, infant son, and I were picked up by the recipient’s parents and we headed into the hospital. It was an enjoyable (early) morning.

We arrived at the hospital and made it to the surgery center where the recipient, his wife, brother, and sister-in-law were all in the waiting room. We signed in, took one last trip to the bathroom, and circled up with everyone for a moment of pray. We then followed the medical staff back the pre-op. Halfway down the hall we dropped the entourage off at a special waiting room, as only one person is allowed back in pre-op with you. At this point I gave Ryan a hand shake (maybe a hug?) and said something like “see ya in a little bit.”

Pre-Op

In the pre-op area I donned my beautiful hospital robe and climbed into the gurney. We then spent about an hour and a half being visited by various nurses and anesthesiologists. I got a few shots and hooked up to an IV. Along with that I was given some compression socks to help prevent blood clots.

During the pre-op I was asked the same questions over and over again each time a new person came in the room. I could see how some people would get annoyed with this, but I like that hospitals are careful to make sure you’re the right person and everyone is on the same page. It is also fun to answer the question, “In your own words, what are we doing to you today?” My standard answer was, “Cutting me open, taking out a kidney, and putting it my friend.” Some nurses liked it, other less so.

Laying there waiting was interesting. My wife and I held hands and chatted about normal stuff. I cracked a joke or two to lighten the mood. Eventually, it was go time. I looked my wife in the eyes, told her a loved her very much, and off I went.

A Long Strange Nap

The ride back to surgery was weird. The hospital was doing construction at the time and the hallways leading to the surgery room had lots of yellow tape, unfinished wall, and “stuff” everywhere. In my exaggerated memory, it was like something out of a bad horror movie. In reality, it was just a ride down a hall.

We entered the surgery room and I couldn’t help but think about how strange this all was. I was about to hop onto a bed, take a nap, and have a major organ cut out of me. However, at this point, I was still really relaxed about the whole thing. I was confident that God has brought me safe the far and He would care for me and the recipient through the surgery.

My surgeon greeted me and filled me in that they were, in fact, going to take my left kidney (it hadn’t been officially decided at the time of our last meeting). He handed me a piece of paper to sign off on the left kidney and I hopped (er, scooted) onto the operating table. Of course, at this point, everything gets hazy as the drugs started to flow. The last thing I remember is the mask. The put it over my mouth and nose and said, take some deep breaths… and like that… nap time.

Hit by a Mac Truck

Coming out of anesthesia, I realized very quickly that I had grossly underestimated the amount of pain I’d be in post-surgery. Sure, I thought it would hurt a bit… but I simply wasn’t prepared for the pain. Now, if you’re a person thinking about donating a kidney, don’t let this scare you. When it comes to pain, every person is different. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. So, the pain (on my pain scale) wasn’t that bad. I simply didn’t think it would be what it was. I guess the only thing I can say is that it is major surgery and you’ll be in pain afterwards. You’ll have meds, and they will help you. But, if you think you’re going to be chilling out in your bed, watching the game, and laughing with family after your surgery (which may or may-not have been what I thought) don’t plan on it. You’ll be hitting the blue button (for your morphine drip) a lot that first day. I did.

Drugs, Drugs, Hiccup, DRUGS!

The first 24 hours after surgery I took a lot of drugs. I was given a button to hold that controlled my pain med. After every 7 minutes I was allowed to push the button and it would release morphine to ease the pain (and usually put me to sleep). So, most of the first day involved me waking up for a few minutes, realizing that I was in a bit of pain, hitting the blue button, and going back to sleep. Between my “naps” I would try and talk to family in the room and nurses that came to check on me. Fun drug-induced conversations will undoubtedly ensue, like, “How do I use this catheter? I feel like I need to pee, but how does this work?”… blue button.

The majority of the pain I remember is the fact that anything requiring abdominal movement just hurts. So, the more still you can be, the better. Everything, like changing your position in the bed, will remind you that you have been cut open. But, for me, the kicker was hiccups.

While I have no idea if this is normal (I never asked) I got the hiccups 3 times in the first 24 hours. As you know, hiccups are a pretty abdominally involved experience. For some reason, whenever I tried to eat the ice chips they gave me, I got the hiccups. It was HORRIBLE. Hands down, some of the worst pain I’ve ever had. If I was a gambling man, I’d bet I got a taste of childbirth with every hiccup I experienced. Whenever they came on, I simply hit the morphine button, tried to relax, and wait for sleep to come one excruciating hiccup at a time.

That said, I do remember having one hiccup attack when the recipient’s parents were in the room. I could tell that they felt bad that I was experiencing so much pain. I don’t remember what they said, but I clearly remember thinking and saying, “this is a small price to pay.” And it was.

As a living donor you are going to feel pain. The first couple weeks of recovery can be tough. But come on! Why are you doing this in the first place!?!? This isn’t a Hawaiian vacation you signed up for! You’re here to help save someone’s life. Then pain and challenges that you face are for a reason and, I’m not kidding, your pain and discomfort are a small price to pay. So hiccup and press the blue button, your recipient is getting a chance at a new life.

Is it itchy in here?

As I mentioned, I grossly underestimated the pain I’d be in after the surgery. In fact, I had planned to have my wife and mom head home in the evening so I could rest. However, as bedtime approached (indicated by my fussy baby son) my wife and mom realized that leaving me alone was not a good idea. Among other things, I had the tendency to stop breathing when I went to sleep. Apparently this alarmed them both. I remember simply saying that it was because I was so relaxed.

Finally the decision was made that my mom would stay with me over night. Note for potential donors: go ahead and plan for someone to stay the night with you. You’ll need them!

After my wife headed on, I spent the night dosing in and out of sleep. However, as the night progresses, I became increasingly itchy. It was the strangest thing. I can’t remember if it was the morphine or the anesthesia that they said caused it, but apparently it is a common reaction. Thankfully, my mom (who gave me back scratches my entire life) stepped up to the challenge and scratched my head and arms throughout the night. Along the way I also remember my mom getting them to change my drug from morphine to something else. I guess if you say, “He keeps stopping breathing” enough, they’ll eventually try and fix that.

Day 2, Let’s Go for a Walk

It was still “technically” less than 24 hours since my surgery, but it was a new day. And, it was apparently time for me to get to work. Post operation the doctors want you up and moving ASAP. If you’re a potential donor, there is plenty of info on why they want you up and about asap.

So, my kind nurse brought me my walker, grabbed my IV drip, and SLOWLY helped me get into a vertical position. Again, anything that take abdominal muscles will not feel good, but once you’re up, it is smooth sailing.

I slowly shuffled a loop around “the block” and even stopped by my recipient’s room to say hi. Note here, two doped up dudes talking about their surgery has got to be funny to watch for sure.

Over the next couple days I took more and more walks around the unit. Get up and walk… What else was I going to do?

The Tube in Your Penis

Yup… No way around this one fellas. Thank GOD when they put your catheter in the first time, you’re totally knocked out. However, it still needs to come out. I will say that compared to all the other pain I experienced as a kidney donor, catheter removal isn’t that bad. Just don’t watch. Close your eyes and just let the nurse do his/her thing. It will feel REALLY strange… and then it is done. Super quick, don’t even worry about it.

Once the catheter is out, it is up to you to do all the peeing, and my nurse was really clear about that. See, I was still hooked up to an IV, so fluids were coming in and it was up to me to get them out. Quickly I realized that it was time to make some room in the bladder and I headed off to the can. However, after dragging all my gear into the bathroom something happened. EVERY time I started to pee, my entire body seized up and stopped the natural flow of business. Every. Stinking. Time. It was ridiculous. I simply could not get myself to pee like I needed to.

The nurse came in after an hour or so to see if I had peed and how much (you pee into a container so they can track it). She was not happy with my efforts. She explained the amount of fluids going into my body and the amount I had sent out and that the math was not in my favor. She encourage me to keep trying and she ordered an ultrasound to check my bladder.

I continued my efforts for another 45 minutes with better progress, but as the ultrasound showed, it was all for not. I had a LOT of pee in me and my body was not going to let it go. Then came some of the worst words I have ever heard… “We need to put the catheter back in.”

The Second Tube in Your Penis

Yeah. There is nothing I can say to explain how much hearing that news sucked. Unlike the first time I had this done, I was going to be fully awake for this one. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I was getting a catheter.

I do want to pause here and thank my nurse. As much as this SUCKED for me, there is no doubt in my mind that it sucked for her too. No way she woke up that morning thinking, “Man, sure hoop I get to shove a rubber tube up a dude’s junk while he writhes in excruciating pain… that’s a lot of fun.” Hell no! No one involved in that process is having fun.

So, I took a deep breath, reminded myself that “this is a small price to pay” and we went at it. Let me say, this was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, hands down. Pure and utter pain. The real bitch in it all? She couldn’t get the catheter to engage! After drilling the pipeline all the way to the bladder, the catheter wouldn’t “hook” into place and after what felt like 3 days, but was probably closer to 2 minutes, she abandoned ship and pulled the catheter out. We were ALL traumatized at that point and I have no doubt that she went home after that shift and had a couple shots of tequila to shake off that experience.

After the failed attempt we all agreed to take a break and reevaluate in an hour (after the shift change). Apparently, either due to the terror of doing that again or the “drilling of the water way”, I was actually able to pee a lot in that hour. My next ultrasound showed that I was getting rid of my pee at an acceptable rate and… deep breath… no catheter needed.

Say Nope to Dope

After the catheter incident I continued my regimen of short walks, resting, and trying not to cough, laugh, hiccup, or do anything that required my abdomen. So long as I wasn’t moving, the pain really wasn’t that bad. Within the first day or two I was off the hard drugs and moved to the pain pills.

Prior to the surgery, I had planned in advance to get off the pain pills as soon as possible. I was willing to deal with a little discomfort in order to not get used to taking pain pills all day. I know my weaknesses and I was honestly a little afraid that if I was on the pain meds too long that I’d want to extend my usage, potentially longer than I needed. So, I cut them out asap. Over the course of a week or so, I used them on occasion as needed, but (essentially) after 3 days I was completely off pain meds.

You Aint Gotta Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here.

The third full day after my surgery I was doing pretty well. My appetite was starting to come back a little (I don’t think I ate very much at all for my whole stay) and I was doing pretty good with my walking, so after meeting with my medical team, I was cleared for discharge.

It was a surreal experience to be rolled out of my room and out to the car. I kept thinking, “they just took an organ out of me and now I’m heading home 3 days later… there’s just nothing normal this.” Of course, everything was fine. I gingerly got into the car, said a prayer that we hit no bumps in the road on the way home, took a deep breath, and told my wife to take us home.

Thankfully, the ride was very uneventful. Easy and no pain.

Wake, Nap, Wake, Nap, Wake, Nap

Getting home, I took a big nap on the first couch I could find. It was good to be home, but I was beat.

I slept on the couch for about the first week. I found that the couch was a great place to sleep because the back and armrest gave me props to use whenever I needed to move. Rolling, sitting up, or doing any movement was still difficult, and the couch seemed to be much more easy to use than the bed.

My first few days we’re all about the same. I’d wake up at about 4 or 5 in the morning, unable to get back to sleep. I’d lay on the couch until I could find the energy to get up. Slowly I’d squirm out of the couch. Remembering my doctors orders to walk as much as possible, I’d usually do 20 or so laps around the downstairs of the house. I’d also fill my water jug to make sure I drinking lots of water.

My family wakes up around 6 or 7, so they’d come down and have breakfast and I’d join them from the couch. I will say that it wasn’t until about the 4th or 5th day home that I actually wanted a cup of coffee (I typically drink it every day).

About 10 AM I’d take a nap for an hour or two. After the nap the family would eat lunch and I’d, again, try to build my appetite back up.

I’d hang out on the couch, taking the occasional walk around the downstairs till dinner. I’d take a nap in the afternoon and then have dinner on the couch. I’d usually be able to stay up until 9 ot 10 and then go to bed.

Bloated and Bubbly

As I mentioned previously, post surgery my stomach was bloated. The strange part was that every time I rolled over I could hear and feel all the air roll around inside. It wasn’t painful, but it was a bit uncomfortable and just weird. This was the norm for the first several weeks.

Not Eating Small

During the day time I usually had smaller meals, but at dinner time I often wanted to really eat. I quickly found out that eating too much was a very bad idea. I’d often eat and shortly after dinner I’d have increased discomfort in my abdomen. For donors, after surgery, ease back into eating bigger meal.

Tickel In My Throat… Are You Kidding!?!?

Let me be clear, despite being off the pain meds, there were still moments of intense pain. Laughing, hiccuping, sneezing, or coughing were intensely painful. That said, it is best to not watch anything remotely funny on TV and to tell your family to keep jokes to an absolute minimum. One thing though that you can’t control is body functions like coughing.

It was the second day home when I first felt the tickle in my throat. You know the kind. The one that you feel in your throat and you think, “I just need one good through clearing or cough to get rid of this.” The only problem is that doing that will cause your stomach to feel like a 12 inch needle is being stabbed into it. I was terrified.

I managed to attempt some very small windy coughs, which hurt. But, I soon realized this tickle wasn’t going down without a fight… I had to cough… twice.

Thinking the worst was over, I rolled on. Sadly, over the next week the tickle returned 3 or 4 more times. Each time it was as painful as the last. Coughing (like hiccups) after surgery sucks. Avoid it at all costs.

Week #2 Begins

Week two was more of the same. I was feeling a little better and would take some time to catch up on work emails and the like. As usual, I was trying to walk around the house as much as possible, drink lots of water, and rest.

This week I took three big steps. The first was leaving the house. My mother and father in law had taken our two oldest kids out to sight see around Seattle. My wife and I decided to live on the edge and drive down the street to have a lunch date. I put on “real clothes” for the first time since the surgery and gingerly walked out to the car. Much like the ride home from the hospital I was nervous. Mostly I was afraid of sudden turns or stops that would lock the seat belt down on my stomach. Thankfully it was all good and we were able to have a nice lunch.

The second big step was going outside for a walk. Up until this point all my walking was doing laps around the inside of the house. For the second time I put on “real clothes” and my wife and I took a stroll up and down the street in front of the house. I ‘m sure it was humorous to watch as we were walking quite slowly and just went up and down the block like 20 times. It was nice to get some sun, fresh air, and probably the most exercise I’d had in weeks.

The final big step of this week was that I was able to chuckle. Not laugh mind you. But I was able to find a way to chuckle when something funny was said that didn’t shoot pain through my abdmonen. So, that was nice.

While it was a good week in general, the lame part was catching a cold towards the end of it. Thankfully it was just a head cold (nothing that involved sneezing or coughing), but it did ruin some travel plans we had for our second to last day in Seattle.

Post Op Visit. Time for Goodbye. Time to Fly.

After 20 days in Seattle it was finally time for my post-op visit to see if I was good to go home. The regular blood and pee tests were conducted and the highlight was running into my recipient. It was great to see him, but at the same time it was hard. For as rough a time as I had, the recipient end of the deal is dramatically more difficult. His spirits were good, but it was a clear reminder that his road to recovery was significantly longer and harder than mine.

My meeting with the nurses and surgeons were pretty uneventful. We talked, they asked questions, had a quick physical examination, and that was about it. I was clear to go home.

Now, prior to going out to Seattle we had decided that we’d catch the red-eye for the flight back east. We were traveling with a 6 year old, 5 year old, and a 5 month old. Knowing that I wasn’t going to be much help on the flight, we thought that at best the kids would sleep and maybe my wife could even get some rest. We simply thought trying to fly during the day when kids might be restless and I couldn’t help hold the infant just wasn’t going to work.

So, we headed “home” to pack up and get ready to go home.

That evening we had a very special dinner where my recipient, his wife, his parents, and some other family came over. It was a very special cap to an amazing few weeks.

After dinner we headed off to the airport and caught our flight. Thankfully, everyone got to sleep on the plane… except me. But, I was ok with that. I knew that once we got home I could nap all I wanted, but my wife would have to take care of me, the kids, and the house… so, I was happy everyone else got some sleep.

Home at Last

When we got home it was perfect timing as it was the week of thanksgiving. That allowed me to have some extra time off from work, which was good because I wasn’t ready to get back. However, by the end of the third week I was ready to head back to the office. While I couldn’t do any lifting, I totally felt up for getting back to work.

Back to Work

90% of my job is at a desk, so that was easy. The hard part was the 10% that requires lifting and lots of movement. Thankfully my coworkers didn’t give me too much crap, as it was UTTERLY frustrating to keep having people tell me I coudln’t lift stuff.

6 Weeks to 80%

I’d say that it took me about 6 weeks to get back to the realm of normal. By this point I was able to do most everything I could do pre-surgery and my body started feeling more or less normal. The majority of the pain and discomfort was gone and I was able to lift most things in the 30-40 pound range (aka, my kids).

Milestones over these six weeks were things like driving by myself, holding my kids, eating full meals, not having bubbles in my stomach, and being able to sit up without massive effort.

10 Weeks to 95%

I’d say that it took about 10 weeks before I got back to “real” normal. At that point I could do just about everything I could do before surgery. There were a few times I’d do something and think, “nope, not quire ready to do that” but in all life was the same as it was pre-surgery.

Parting insight, advice, or whatever.

Well, you either sat through that whole post or you just skipped to the end. Either way, I hope something in my post was helpful. While there is so much more that I could write (and probably forgot to write) I’ll leave you with this:

It is worth it. Hands down, 100%. It is worth it.

This point has hit me two very specific times since the surgery. The first time was about a month after when my recipient sent me a text letting me know his creatinine levels were down to 1.4. It was a huge deal to let that number sink in. Prior to surgery his levels were at like 13 something, which is essentially kidney failure. It was the first time that it really hit me that this worked.

The second time it really hit me was about 3-4 months after the surgery. My recipient sent me a message to let me know that his levels were down to 1.2, he was back to work, he had resumed his deacon role at his church, and he and his wife were talking about becoming foster parents. The penny dropped. My recipient was able to have a normal life. No more dialysis. No more feeling tired all the time. The kidney transplant was giving him exactly what we had hoped. A more normal life.

At those two moments I was crystal clear to me that it was worth it and I’d do it all over again.

Thanks

Wouldn’t feel entirely right here if I dind’t say a few thanks. First, I thank the God who saw fit to send me and my family to WA for a few years so that we could meet my recipient. Thanks to the awesome folks at University of Washington, especially Kami, Paige, and Dr. Baktha. Thanks for my recipients parents who moved out of their house for almost a month and braved crazy cats and drooly dogs so that we could occupy their house. Thanks to my mom and mother & father in law who were more help that we ever knew we would need. Thanks to the people of Redemption Hill for loving and praying for me and my family. Thanks for my friends and co-laborers who not only covered for me at work, but were my true brothers through this.

Finally, thanks to my wife and kids who walked through this entire process from the very first day. Together we prayed for our recipient for over a year. It was an honor to be a part of God’s “yes” with you. I love you.

Got Questions?

Post ‘em in the comments and I’ll try to answer. Lots I didn’t cover above, but would love to help if I can.

As the director of operations for a young (4 years old today) mid-sized church, one of my goals in 2011 was to position our church’s financial structure and systems in such a way that we could successfully conduct our first internal financial audit in 2012. The goal behind the goal is to be in a position to apply for ECFA membership.

Now that 2011 is over, I’m taking the steps to put together our audit team. While doing this, I found several audit guides that were helpful. For your benefit, I’ve included them here with some highlights of what I liked about them. At the end of the day, if you’re serious about performing an internal audit, you should go ahead and just read through all of them and make sure that you and your audit team are ready to do the best job possible.

ECFA Annual Audit Checklist
While this isn’t a full out audit guide, this is the best guide to start with. It is a short checklist of items that you should have in place. If these items aren’t in place, don’t even bother trying to do a full out audit. Read through the checklist, note what you currently do or have in place, then immediately work on fixing anything that is missing. After that, you should be ready for the more robust guides.

Local Church Audit Guide For Western NY Presbytery Congregations PCUSA
I love that this audit guide starts out by walking you through the terminology. In a question and answer format, you’re walked through everything form “What is an audit?” to “How do restricted assets differ from designated assets?”. However, I found that the Q&A format falls apart a little at the end as it gets confusing as to the actual steps and items people need to report and how to report them. However, there are forms to help track the audit process, as well as instructions to the forms. The addendum help everything make more sense. Also, as noted in the onset of this document, it is almost entirely take from the UMC Local Church Audit Guide.

Presbytery of the James PCUSA Internal Audit Guide
Like the above audit guide, this one borrows some content from the UMC Local Church Audit Guide. The main difference in this guide from the others is that almost no time is spent explaining anything. It does however have a very well organized checklist for your audit team to follow, as well as helpful instructions for work through each section.

UCC Connecticut Conference Audit Program for Internal Auditors
Ok, I saved the best for last. This is, in my opinion, the best actual “guide” for an internal church audit. The format is very easy to follow and walks the auditors thorough all the information they need to gather, and then asks them a lot of yes/no questions to actually perform the audit. While the other church audit guides were helpful, this (or a slightly modified version) is most likely the one we’ll be using.

photo credit

Life is busy. We all (well, at least I) have the tendency to rush through each day trying to accomplish as much as humanly possible. A day turns into a week. A week turns into a month. Then *blink* it is Christmas again. All the while, much of what we do is simply rote repetition: wash, rinse, repeat.

Below is a simple guide that I have found helpful in my life. It was written by Don Whitney and he graciously gave me permission to reprint it here.

---

Ten Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year or On Your Birthday

Once, when the people of God had become careless in their relationship with Him, the Lord rebuked them through the prophet Haggai. “Consider your ways!” (Haggai 1:5) he declared, urging them to reflect on some of the things happening to them, and to evaluate their slipshod spirituality in light of what God had told them.

Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It’s so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we’re going and where we should be going.

The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God.

1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What’s the most important way you will, by God’s grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

In addition to these ten questions, here are twenty-one more to help you “Consider your ways.” Think on the entire list at one sitting, or answer one question each day for a month.

1. What’s the most important decision you need to make this year?
2. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what’s one way you could simplify in that area?
3. What’s the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?
4. What habit would you most like to establish this year?
5. Who is the person you most want to encourage this year?
6. What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?
7.  What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?
8. What’s one new way you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?
9. What’s one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?
10. What book, in addition to the Bible, do you most want to read this year?
11. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?
12. What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?
13. In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?
14. What’s the most important trip you want to take this year?
15. What skill do you most want to learn or improve this year?
16. To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount this year?
17. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your commute this year?
18. What one biblical doctrine do you most want to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?
19. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?
20. What’s the most important new item you want to buy this year?
21. In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you do about it this year?

The value of many of these questions is not in their profundity, but in the simple fact that they bring an issue or commitment into focus. For example, just by articulating which person you most want to encourage this year is more likely to help you remember to encourage that person than if you hadn’t considered the question.

If you’ve found these questions helpful, you might want to put them someplace—in a day planner, PDA, calendar, bulletin board, etc.—where you can review them more frequently than once a year.

So let’s evaluate our lives, make plans and goals, and live this new year with biblical diligence, remembering that, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage” (Proverbs 21:5). But in all things let’s also remember our dependence on our King who said, “Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Copyright © 2003 Donald S. Whitney. All rights reserved. For more short, reproducible pieces like this, see www.BiblicalSpirituality.org

photo credit

On November 9th, 2011, I am giving away a kidney. The left one to be precise. Seriously.

The journey to this point has been a long one. For the recipient of my kidney, the story is even longer.

Ryan (that’s his name) has a rare disease in which his body attacks his kidney. In his early 30s (like me), Ryan currently lives with about 5% kidney function and has nightly dialysis in order to remove the toxins in his body. He’s a young guy, loves Jesus, works to protect abused and neglected kids at the Washington State Department of Social & Health Services, is recently married, and won’t live long without a kidney transplant. So, I’m going to give him one.

I met Ryan a few years ago when I lived in Washington. Ryan and I attended the same church in Washington, Oikos Fellowship, and my family and I got to know him over our time there. One day a friend of ours asked Jennifer to watch her kids so that she could go down to Seattle for some medical tests. It was then that we first learned about Ryan’s condition.

After a few weeks our friend told us that she was not cleared to donate her kidney to Ryan and that they would have to begin looking for a new potential donor. She said that the search was difficult because Ryan has O+ blood which is cool to have because you can donate to anyone, but tricky because you can only receive from someone with that type. When I heard this, my very first thought was, “I have O+. I could donate.”

I picked up the phone and gave Ryan a call. The truth is, I didn’t really know Ryan that well. We were acquaintances and spoke from time to time, but that was about all. The common bond we shared was the mercy of Christ in our lives and the connection of our church.

When I got Ryan on the phone, I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of, “Hey, I heard you need a kidney and I think I have one you can use.” We talked for a bit and I got the details of his condition and the journey he’s been on with the disease. I got the number for the transplant center from him and gave them a call, throwing my hat into the ring. That was over a year ago.

About 6 months ago I received a call from the transplant center. They let me know that 2 other recipients had been through the screening process and been rejected for various medical reasons. They wanted to know if I was still interested in being a donor. I said yes and the testing began. Over the course of several months I was poked, prodded, and asked to pee in no less that 7 containers. Then, in September I was asked to fly out to Seattle for some final testing to ensure that I was a perfect match for Ryan. Long story short, I am.

So, we set a date and on November 9th Ryan and I will enter our respective surgery rooms and they will take out my left kidney and put it into Ryan. The result, God willing, is that Ryan will gain 20+ years of normal, dialysis-free, life and I will continue to live the normal life I already have. While there are risks for both of us, the risks for Ryan are far greater. For me, there is only minimal risks which are common to any surgery, a 3-6 week recovery period where I can’t lift anything over 10 pounds, and long term, studies show that kidney donors typically live very normal lives with no adverse effects from the surgery. For Ryan, his body will have to learn to use another person’s kidney. This is no small task and will require Ryan to take anti-rejection medication for the remainder of his life.

While that is the more “technical” side of the journey, I want to share some of the personal and spiritual aspects as well. To begin with, my wife and kids are all on board with this decision. As a family, we have prayed almost every night for nearly 2 years that God would heal Ryan and give him a kidney (Philippians 4:6). As a family, we have offered up prayers that if God would so chose, I was willing to be the donor. As a family we have placed our hope and trust for Ryan and this situation fully into the hand of the Lord. So when the call came that I may be the donor, it was simply the next step for us in our trusting God’s grace and provision (Proverbs 3:5-6).

One question that I commonly get when people find out that i’m donating a kidney to someone who isn’t a super-close friend or family member, is “why?” I’ve thought about that question a lot over the past year and it really comes down to two things: He needs it and I can do it. It seems like a somewhat simplistic answer for such a big decision, but through this journey I’ve come to realize more and more that this is just the kind of guy I am. When I meet people or situations that need something, I immediately begin to think about how I, or someone I know, could help. The best I can tell, it is just the way God wired me.

As a Christian, there is no doubt that my faith and hope in Jesus has played a part in this journey. I continue to think about the great lengths by which Christ gave of himself for me. As one who was far off and undeserving of mercy, Christ died to reconcile me to God (Romans 5:6-8). When you experience the gospel, it actually helps you to understand that life is about so much more than your own self-preservation. In the gospel you are free from the fear of saving your own life, but as Christ did, you can lay down your life for others (Philippians 2:3-8). Jesus lead the way in this not only in his death and resurrection, but even before that as he, the one through who all things were created (Colossians 1:16), knelt down and washed the feet of his disciples (John 13:1-17). Not worried about self exhalation, status, or the praise of men, he humbled himself and served others. Whether washing feet or laying down our lives, the gospel empowers us to live lives to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). And, for me, that path has lead to donating a kidney. But not only that, it is the very same gospel that leads me to love my wife (Ephesians 5:25), my kids, my neighbors. The gospel radically reorients our lives and frees us to no longer simply seek our own good, but rather the good of others to the glory of God (1 Corinthian 10:31).

As we progress down this road, I would ask for your prayers. Please pray for a smooth and successful surgery. For speedy and full recovery for Ryan and myself. For the peace of Christ to guard our families (Philippians 4:6-7). And most importantly, for the glory of God to be seen in all we do.